I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
