We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i think my cat just said my name.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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