at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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