We named our party play list daddy issues
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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