So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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