I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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