508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
