Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
