yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize