I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
