so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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