gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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