ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
