Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
How external is "for external use only"?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize