I just made out with a guy for $7.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
