remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
