There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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