Just took my morning after pill in the library
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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