My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
