I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
