at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
