I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
