good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
