Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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