Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
