I saw his package. It spoke to me.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize