I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
