But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
