You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
