just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize