Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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