I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
