jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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