OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
