they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
