I could have mohawked her pubes.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
