I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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