their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
