i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
