We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
