even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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