I think im going to throw up on grandma
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
