He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
