last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
you never un-have a 4some
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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