as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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