Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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