Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just pee around me
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
