Someone shit on the floor
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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