He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
