We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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