at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize