I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
