Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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