its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
