why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize