I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
