You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
