i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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