...so i touched it.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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