She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
